
Creepy families with murderous intentions have become a staple of horror cinema. Most recently directors like Rob Zombie have attempted to cash in on this long standing tradition with films like House of 1000 Corpses (2003) and The Devil’s Rejects (2005), but long before Rob ever stood behind a camera other directors such as Jack Hill (Spider Baby; 1968), Tobe Hooper (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre; 1974), Pete Walker (Frightmare; 1974) and Wes Craven (The Hills Have Eyes; 1977) were plotting out similar scenarios with more worthwhile results.
One of the earliest and most interesting films in this tradition is Freddie Francis’ Girly aka Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny and Girly (1969). The plot of Girly is rather simple and involves a strange wealthy family that live on an isolated British estate. The family consists of Mumsy (Ursula Howells) and her two children Girly (Vanessa Howard) and Sonny (Howard Trevor) who are cared for by their doting Nanny (Pat Heywood). Girly and Sonny act like two naughty schoolchildren and Mumsy and Nanny enjoy babying them both. They sleep in cribs and play with toys as if they were infants, but the siblings are actually much older and enjoy spending their time luring adult men or new “friends” home to play “games” that revolve around torture and death.
Girly isn’t one of Francis’ best looking films, but it is one of his funniest and most unusual movies. This blacker than black horror comedy offers plenty of uncomfortable laughs along with a few chills and thrills. The script by author Brian Comport is smart and surprising. It was based on a play called Happy Family written by Maisie Mosco in 1966. I don’t know much about the original play, but with the script’s obvious swipes at the British upper-class and its timely take on the era’s sexual politics, Girly seems to distantly echo some of the social themes found in “kitchen sink dramas” that were popular in Britain throughout the ‘60s.
Before Freddie Francis started directing horror films he worked as a cinematographer on celebrated British dramas such as Room at the Top (1959) and Saturday Night and Sunday Morning (1960). His unique talents helped give birth to the British New Wave and he was partially responsible for ushering in a new era of British cinema. Francis considered Girly to be one of his best films and I think it’s fascinating to view the movie as an extension of his previous work as a cinematographer. In some ways Girly could be seen as a seamless blend of Francis’ early beginnings in the British New wave along with his bleak sense of humor and macabre sensibilities.

Hilarious, smart and extremely relevant. Shaun of the Dead (2004) is one of my favorite comedies of the last decade. Before I saw the film I thought zombie comedy had been played out, but Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg proved me wrong. The film has been written about a lot and I don’t think I have much to add to what’s already been said, but I will say that if you haven’t had the opportunity to see Shaun of the Dead yet do yourself a favor and give it a look. It should be available from most DVD sellers and renters.

Modern Mondays is an ongoing project here at Cinebeats where I share a few thoughts or lengthy rants and raves about my favorite films produced during the last decade. Films previously mentioned on Modern Mondays include:
- The Left Bank (2008)
- Love Songs (2007)
- Bright Future (2003)
- Control (2007)
- The Quiet American (2001)
- A History of Violence (2005)
- This Is England (2007)

Over the Christmas holidays I made an attempt to do some baking. When my mother was alive we’d spend a week in the kitchen cooking before Christmas, but I was just her assistant and unfortunately I never really learned how to function on my own in a kitchen. I burnt the first batch of cookies I made this year and the second batch I made tasted awful. I thought that watching every episode of Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations over the last couple of years would improve my cooking abilities. Obviously I was wrong. All Bourdain’s terrific show has done is make me want to travel more and eat at fabulous restaurants. Besides my dislike of cooking, I also hate cleaning. The sad truth is that l’ll never be the domestic goddess that my mother, grandmothers and great grandmothers were. This isn’t something I’m particularly proud of. It’s just fact.
If that wasn’t bad enough, I’m also a terrible party host as well as a terrible party guest. I find myself usually struck dumb at parties, which means I drink too much in an attempt to entertain myself. Board games have become popular at parties again, but they bore me to tears whenever I’m forced into playing them. No matter how wild the party guests may think they are, conversations often revolve around jobs, babies, home ownership and cooking when you’re my age. These are all topics that make my eyes glaze over when I want to have a good time. Popular movies are also discussed at parties that I’ve never seen and have no desire to see. Want to talk about Jess Franco’s films, Klaus Kinski’s acting, Japanese toys, Mid-Century design, Byron’s poetry or Evelyn Waugh’s prose? Invite me to your party! On the other hand, if you want to discuss the best way to make polenta, sports of any kind or the latest Adam Sandler comedy, please forgive me when I suddenly come down with a nasty cold just hours before your party starts.
So why am I telling you all this? Because it explains why I enjoy Phyllis Diller’s 1966 book Housekeeping Hints so much! This funny book was a gift last year from fellow Flickr user Mjlaff and I can’t thank her enough. Since I received a brand new sparkling Epson scanner for my birthday, I thought I’d share some of Phyllis Diller’s timely wisdom with you all. If you’re planning a big party tonight to celebrate the New Year, you won’t want to miss reading some of Diller’s selected housekeeping tips and party planning tricks. Like me, Phyllis Diller shuns the Cult of Domesticity and she also has a wicked sense of humor. So without further ado, here’s some helpful party tips from one of the leading pioneers of stand-up comedy accompanied by some wonderful illustrations by artist Susan Perl.

Shopping Made Easy:
- “Spot a domestic looking woman in the supermarket and copy what she’s got in her grocery cart.”
- “Don’t buy products that advertise that even a child can use them. Theses failures have a greater sting.”
- “Pick up a cook book at a rummage sale so you have one that looks used.”
- “Above all, don’t feel you’re lying when you use the term ‘home-baked’ if the bakery is in town.”

Dial M for Messy:
- “Always have a lot of souvenirs around from far off places, even if you’ve just sent for them from a mail order house. It will give the impression of being a world traveler who hasn’t been home long enough to have thoroughly cleaned the house.”
- “Blame a lot of things - like soiled wallpaper, greasy walls, and a dirty basement - on the previous owners (or renters), even if you’ve lived there for 25 years.”
- “Do not have company when the sunlight is streaming through the windows. Everything shows up. Entertain at night or close the drapes and break the cord.”
- “No matter what anyone drops behind the couch, don’t let them retrieve it, whether it’s a wrist watch or a diamond ring. Offer to replace it. What’s money when compared to your ruined reputation?”

The Hostess with the Leastest:
- “No matter what time your guests arrive, pretend they’re early, so naturally you’re not ready for them.”
- “Discuss religion and politics at your dinner party so people get into heated arguments and don’t notice what they’re eating. They may also think that the arguing caused their indigestion.”
- “Never serve meals on time. The starving eat anything.”
- “You can easily find yourself in a group of women exchanging recipes and discussing knitting patterns. The only safe way to avoid this is to drift over to a group of men. If they’re exchanging recipes and discussing knitting patterns, leave the party.”
Happy New Year!
In 1970 Donald Sutherland and Elliott Gould made movie history with their portrayals of Hawkeye and Trapper John, two young wisecracking surgeons working at a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital during the Korean War. The success of M*A*S*H (1970) catapulted Donald Sutherland and Elliott Gould into superstardom and audiences wanted to see them appear in more films together.
In 1974 the actors got an opportunity to team-up again in Irvin Kershner’s unusual comedy S*P*Y*S, which was released on DVD for the first time last year. This uneven spy spoof was panned by critics when it was originally released and it’s not hard to see why the movie has received a lot of negative press over the year, but I still think S*P*Y*S has a few things to offer potential viewers who are looking for some laughs.
Much like Robert Altman’s M*A*S*H, Irvin Kershner’s film is undeniably a product of its time and the radical politics of the era play a large part in the movie’s portrayal of government figures and the shady world of international espionage. S*P*Y*S is nowhere near as smart or well-written as Altman’s critically acclaimed M*A*S*H, but not all of the jokes in S*P*Y*S fall flat and some of the action filled comedy sequences are well executed. The film was also shot on location in France, which lends the movie a nice atmosphere. If potential viewers expect S*P*Y*S to be another M*A*S*H, they’re bound to be disappointed. On the other hand, if you watch the film with no expectations you might just enjoy yourself. S*P*Y*S is a quirky unconventional spy spoof that has limited appeal, but a lot of ’70s style charm.
Donald Sutherland and Elliott Gould have a natural chemistry together on screen and it’s fun to watch them bounce jokes off one another even when those jokes are missing their intended marks. In S*P*Y*S the two actors play CIA agents Griff (Elliott Gould) and Bruland (Donald Sutherland), who find themselves caught up in a cold war cat and mouse game with Russian agents. Gould and Sutherland were both iconic counterculture figures in the seventies and their shared easygoing humor is undeniably appealing here. Both actors work extremely well together and they’re able to inject some life into the film’s lackluster script.

Top: Elliot Gould & Donald Sutherland in S*P*Y*S (1974)
Bottom: Zouzou in S*P*Y*S (1974)
The movie also stars the beautiful French pop icon and yé-yé star Zouzou (aka Danièle Ciarlet) as a radical anarchist called Sybil. Her appearance in the film is unfortunately much too brief and she doesn’t get the opportunity to sing any songs, but Zouzou is terrific whenever she is on screen and it’s hard to keep your eyes off her. The rest of the cast is pretty forgettable, but the french actors Xavier Gélin and Pierre Oudrey are memorable as Sybil’s revolutionary minded companions.
This cold war comedy definitely owes a tip of the hat to Kershner’s previous film Up the Sandbox (1972), which starred Elliot Gould’s ex-wife Barbara Streisand. Both films took jabs at the government fueled fears of average Americans toward radical political groups at the time and used comedy as a force to explore pertinent social concerns. Up the Sandbox is a better and more fully realized film than S*P*Y*S, but both movies would make an interesting double feature thanks to their subject matter and stars.
Director Irvin Kershner has had a decidedly mixed carer behind the camera with a few worthwhile hits and many misses. After making S*P*Y*S he directed some critically acclaimed films such as the fascinating Eyes of Laura Mars (1978) and the popular Star Wars sequel The Empire Strikes Back (1980). Ironically Kershner would also go on to make the James Bond film Never Say Never Again (1983) which marked his only return to the spy genre.
The 20th Century Fox DVD release of S*P*Y*S comes with some nice extras, including an interesting 20 minute featurette called Inside S*P*Y*S, which contains interviews with the director Irvin Kershner and the film’s star Elliott Gould. Both men express their disappointment with the movie, but the “making of” stories they share with viewers are really interesting and informative. The disc also contains a government documentary directed by Irvin Kershner called The Road of a Hundred Days and an original trailer for the film.
New and used copies of S*P*Y*S are currently selling at Amazon and the movie should be available for rent from Netflix and Greencine.
- A edited version of this review originally appeared in Cinedelica 04.26.2007
During the sixties there were literally thousands of spy spoofs made following the popularity of the early James Bond films. One of the silliest of these was Norman Abbott’s Last of the Secret Agents? (1966), which was the first and last film that attempted to make cinema stars out of the comedy team Allen & Rossi (Marty Allen & Steve Rossi). Allen & Rossi were a comedic duo that became popular on the Ed Sullivan Show during The Beatles’ heyday and they were patterned after Martin & Lewis (Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis), but their style of comedy was becoming rather dated as the sixties wore on. Last of the Secret Agents? was butchered by critics on its initial release and Allen & Rossi never appeared in a film together again. They ended their partnership in 1969 and Last of the Secret Agents? was basically forgotten.
The years have not been kind to the film and as far as I know Last of the Secret Agents? has never been released on video, much less DVD. A quick look at the film’s IMDb page shows that most viewers have given the film a 3 star rating out of a possible 10 and the comments are less then flattering, but I happen to think the movie is well worth a look if you enjoy slapstick style humor and silly sight gags, as well as sixties spy spoofs. The film doesn’t contain much comedic gold, but it’s also not the unwatchable mess that so many critics seem to think it is. If you enjoy Mel Brooks’ style of humor or the Austin Powers films you’ll probably find yourself laughing a few times while watching Last of the Secret Agents? and if you like fun-filled spy capers with good soundtracks and stylish wardrobes, then you might actually enjoy the film as much as I do.
The plot involves Marty Allen and Steve Rossi as two American ex-pats looking for work in Europe. They soon discover that they’ve been unwillingly used as couriers for art thieves who are part of an evil organization known as THEM. They get recruited by the GGI (Good Guys Inc.) and help concoct a plan to put an end to the criminal activities of THEM. Naturally lots of chase scenes and fights take place in the process. Like any good spy film there are plenty of beautiful women that help and hinder the two stars. The film also contains a musical number performed by Steve Rossi and it ends with an appearance of Allen & Rossi on the Ed Sullivan Show.
Allen & Rossi try hard to make the film work, but they’re no Martin & Lewis and they end up being one of the film’s main problems. They don’t seem to have much chemistry here and the jokes they deliver often fall flat. I’m not sure if it’s the fault of the comedy team or the writers, but it’s a shame that the script didn’t seem to really give them an opportunity to show off whatever made audiences enjoy their stand up act so much. Since Allen & Rossi are the stars of the movie I think it’s easy for viewers to get caught up in their rather lackluster delivery and overlook all the funny performances from their costars, which is a shame.
The talented character actor Theodore Marcuse is really terrific here and especially funny as the evil mastermind Zoltan Schubach who heads THEM. His character is obviously inspired by the notorious Bond villain known as Ernst Stavro Blofeld and I’m sure Mike Myers was inspired by Theodore Marcuse’s performance as Zoltan Schubach in Last of the Secret Agents? when he created the character of Dr. Evil for the Austin Powers movies. The great British actor John Williams lends a nice sense of gravitas to the proceedings and the very funny Harvey Korman even shows up in a brief, but memorable bit as an actor playing a frazzled German Colonel.

The film also features plenty of lovely female co-stars. Nancy Sinatra gets top billing here, but unfortunately she doesn’t get enough screen time. She plays Steve Rossi’s neglected love interest and she ends up spending most of her time in the film trying to get him to notice her. Rossi is a good-looking guy, but I couldn’t believe that he would turn down Nancy’s marriage proposals even if she would have gotten in the way of his swinging lifestyle. Fashion icon Carmen Dell’Orefice is really wonderful as the wicked Baby May Zoftig and she vamps it up on the set as much as possible. Unfortunately she only has a few lines in the film and I wish the director had given her more to do. Other sixties starlets and femme fatales in Last of the Secret Agents? include Russ Meyer’s lovely wife Edy Williams and the actress Thordis Brandt.
Besides the lackluster performances of the films stars Allen & Rossi, Last of the Secret Agents? is not without some other obvious problems. The stale looking set designs often make the movie look more like a television production instead of a feature length film. The movie would have really benefited from being shot on location in Europe. Last but not least, someone also should have hired a dialogue coach for the cast. There are a lot of actors in the film trying to sound like they weren’t born in America and most of them fail terribly. Since Last of the Secret Agents? is a comedy I find it easy to overlook the bad accents, but they can still be a little jarring at times.
With all its problems, Last of the Secret Agents? still has a lot to offer potential viewers including one of the funniest opening sequences that I’ve ever seen in any spy spoof. There’s also a terrific long running sight gag that takes place on a train that is very clever and just plain fun to watch. The pop art style of the film gives it a comic book feel at times and the soundtrack by Pete King and Neal Hefti is really terrific.
The film also boasts a wonderful theme song composed by Lee Hazlewood and sung by Nancy Sinatra. I personally think it’s one of Sinatra & Hazelwood’s best songs and it was released the same year that they released their huge hit single “These Boots Are Made for Walkin.” Unfortunately the title song for Last of the Secret Agents? wasn’t a big hit and I’m sure the movies lackluster reception was a factor. In retrospect, the theme song is just as good as any of Sinatra & Hazelwood’s early recordings so I can’t understand why the song didn’t become more popular after its release.
Before making Last of the Secret Agents? director Norman Abbott had previously made a name for himself working on popular television shows like Leave It to Beaver, McHale’s Navy and The Munsters. For better or worse, he brings that same comedy sense to Last of the Secret Agents? and as I mentioned above, the film often suffers from the somewhat stale television-like quality of the production.
Last of the Secret Agents? would become a minor launching point for some of the cast and crew to go on to bigger and better spy-related productions. Norman Abbott would return to television and direct episodes of the entertaining spy spoof Get Smart and Nancy Sinatra would go on to record the popular theme song for the James Bond film You Only Live Twice in 1967. Theodore Marcuse had acted in other spy spoofs before making Last of the Secret Agents? but afterward he appeared in the Doris Day spy comedy The Glass Bottom Boat and television shows like The Man from U.N.C.L.E. and The Wild Wild West, before his unfortunate and untimely death in a car accident in 1967.
It’s a shame that Last of the Secret Agents? isn’t available on DVD and is rarely shown on television anymore. With the popularity of the Austin Powers films, as well as current interest in the James Bond series, I personally hope that Paramount will consider releasing the movie in the future. It deserves to be seen by a wider audience that might enjoy its silly charms now that over 40 years have passed since the films initial release.
If you’d like to see more images from the movie please see my Last of the Secret Agents? Flickr Gallery.
Recommended Links:
- Marty Allen’s Official Site
- Hello Dere! (Allen & Rossi fan site)
- Nancy Sinatra’s Official Site
- Lee Hazlewood Fan Site

I recently had the opportunity to see Norman Jewison’s extremely silly and sometimes smart 1966 comedy The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming for the first time in about 20 years when it played on TCM. When I was a kid The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming was one of my favorite comedies for reasons I can’t really explain, except it seemed to portray adults as I saw them then - easily frightened big kids who projected their fears onto their children and conformed to every bad idea that society and the government tossed their way.
I was afraid the film wouldn’t hold up after such a long period of time between my last viewing so my expectations were extremely low going into the movie but once it ended my appreciation for it remained. It’s no longer one of my favorite comedies but I really admire its undeniable charm and the way it manages to cram complex ideas into easily digested entertainment that the whole family can enjoy. Simply put, it’s a lightweight version of Kubrick’s brilliant Dr. Strangelove (1964) and it works.
The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming opens with a Russian sub running aground in a small New England coastal town. Naturally chaos erupts because the U.S. is in the middle of the cold war and only four years have passed since the infamous Cuban Missile Crisis. The Americans think the Russians are invading and the whole town pulls out their guns and comes together to form a modern day militia in an effort to stop them. Of course things aren’t exactly what they seem since the Russians in the sub are merely trying to get back home. After bouts of hysteria and plenty of violent outbursts, the panicky town’s folk and the frazzled Russian soldiers manage to come together to save the life of a young child in peril and the sub returns home.

There are some standout performances in The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming, including Carl Reiner’s terrific turn as a comedy writer trying to calm the paranoid town and the very funny Alan Arkin playing a smart Russian Lieutenant who’s trying to get a handle on the slowly escalating events all around him. Brian Keith is also very good as the town Sheriff who can’t believe the situation he’s found himself in. Arkin’s Russian Lieutenant and Keith’s small town Sheriff could have been roles written purely for easy laughs but they’re not. Viewers are asked to sympathize with both men in some ways and we do. The gorgeous John Philip Law also shows up as a Russian solider who speaks a little bit of English and ends up falling for a perky American blond played by Andrea Dromm. The two young lovebirds make a cute couple and their romance echoes themes found in Shakespeare’s classic play Romeo and Juliet, which gives the film an emotional core that I personally found rather sweet and appealing.
The beauty of The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming seems perfectly clear today as we deal with some vaguely defined idea of an enemy we’re supposed to fear enough to give up our Constitutional Freedoms and basic human compassion for. The film has often been unfairly criticized for its dated jokes, simple plot and silly slapstick style humor. But if the ideas presented in Norman Jewison’s film are so dated, simple and silly, why are people still making the same absurd mistakes outlined in a movie made some 40 years ago? If anything, the film’s basic premise and themes are as pertinent as ever. Underneath all the movie’s jokes and gentleness, The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming knows that war is a nasty business and there are rarely any victors.

The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming has often been compared to It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World (1963) due to it’s title, characters and a large cast that happens to have some similar actors including Jonathan Winters, but I think The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming is a much stronger film that is willing to explore big ideas that were not very popular at the time that the movie was made, while keeping its tongue firmly planted in its cheek. Apparently the movie was banned in the USSR after its release, but it was nominated for a Best Picture Oscar in 1966.
The script is based on a novel called The Off-Islanders by the American author Nathaniel Benchley who happens to be the father of Jaws author Peter Benchley. I find it amusing that both men wrote books set in small New England towns where they were raised. And both stories focus on a town being terrorized by some unknown scary “other.” It’s also worth noting that one of my favorite American filmmakers, the great Hal Ashby, also acted as an editor on the movie.
These days it can be hard to find anything worth smiling about but if you haven’t seen The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming I recommend giving it a look. It just might make you laugh. The movie is available on DVD from Amazon and it’s playing again on Turner Movie Classics Nov. 28th when the great actor Brian Dennehy hosts four of his favorite films. I really like Brian Dennehy so I was happy to discover that he selected the film to play with two other films from the sixties, Karel Reisz‘s gritty British drama Saturday Night and Sunday Morning (1960) and Bryan Forbes‘s British comedy The Wrong Box (1966). I’ve wanted to see The Wrong Box for years, but it isn’t available on DVD yet so I’ll be watching it on TCM Nov. 28th.


This week’s Recommended DVD Release of the Week is the Trinity Twin Pack from Hen’s Tooth Video which contains the films They Call Me Trinity (1970) and Trinity Is Still My Name (1971). The Trinity movies have been available on DVD for awhile, but this new DVD set features all-new digital transfers remastered from the original Technicolor prints and both films are presented in their correct widescreen ratios for the first time.
As I mentioned back in May, I really enjoy all the Spaghetti Western comedies starring the handsome blue-eyed Italian/German actor Terence Hill (a.k.a. Mario Girotti). Both movies in the Trinity Twin Pack feature Terence Hill along with his longtime co-star Bud Spencer (a.k.a. Carlo Pedersoli) as two unlikely half-brothers who find themselves in all sorts of unusual and very funny situations in the wild and wacky west. The Trinity films parody previous Spaghetti Westerns and seem to really enjoy poking fun at the genre as well as celebrating its eccentricities.
The talented Italian director and cinematographer Enzo Barboni directed and wrote both of the Trinity movies featured in the Trinity Twin Pack and he really knows how to make entertaining slapstick comedies that appeal to all-ages. I first saw the Trinity films when I was just a kid and I still find them funny today. Both of these Trinity movies contain plenty of creative gunplay and exciting action, but the violence and bloodshed found in many Spaghetti Westerns has been replaced by lots of laughs.
To learn more about the films I recommend visiting the official Cinedelic Records site for They Call Me Trinity and for more information about the handsome and funny star of the Trinity films check out Terence Hill’s Official International Website.
The Trinity Twin Pack DVD set is currently available at Amazon and you should be able to find both movies at better online DVD rental sources like Netflix and Greencine.

August Movie Review Roundup . . .
Last month my computer suffered a major meltdown and had to be replaced which really slowed down my writing. I was only able to complete one review for Cinedelica last month and that was for Irvin Kershner’s dark comedy A Fine Madness (1966) which stars a rather young and super cute Sean Connery. I had mixed reactions to the film, but if you’re curious about Kershner’s early work or just want to see Connery in his prime, A Fine Madness is well worth a look.
- My review of A Fine Madness
Read All About It . . .
Adam Ross who runs the terrific DVD Panche blog was nice enough to ask me to be interviewed for his ongoing “Friday Screen Test” and I happily agreed. If you’d like to find out a little more about me you can find my answers to Adam’s questions at his blog.
- My Friday Screen Test
Every Picture Tells a Story . . .
Before my computer suffered a meltdown I was able to send the guys who run the great If Charlie Parker was a Gunslinger, there’d be a whole lot of dead copycats blog a bunch of images that had been languishing on my computer for their “Contributer Week” which I believe is still going strong. If you’re interested in checking out my contributions as well as all other great submissions stop by the blog and give them a look.
-If Charlie Parker was a Gunslinger, there’d be a whole lot of dead copycats



